Friday, February 15, 2008
1 Year Ago...
It was one year ago today that a judge in Ethiopia finally issued the adoption decree, thereby making Yosef and Mihret my very own. 18 months of absolute anguish and uncertainty finally ended with perhaps the most beautiful news I have ever received. I'll never forget the moment I found out. I was shopping in a Salvation Army store, anxiously awaiting news. I had been on the phone off and on all day with Avery and other families who were awaiting news of their courtdates. One of the mothers who unfortunately did not have a courtdate that day called me on my cell to tell me that she had just seen on the agency yahoo group that our kids passed court! I cannot even begin to describe what a relief it was to know that these children were finally ours! What an even bigger relief it was to finally have them in my arms once more...and when we stepped foot out of the airport back in DC and were finally all together on American soil...wow! God turned our faith into sight. What a wonderful day indeed.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Lucas- 9 Months After His Burn
It occurred to me today that I have not posted an update about Lucas for a long time. For those who are just now stumbling upon my blog, Lucas is my 6-year-old son who was burned quite severely in May 2007. He spent several weeks in the UNC Burn Center in Chapel Hill, NC where he received top-notch treatment. Miraculously, even the 3rd degree burns healed without requiring surgery. So, here is an update on how he continues to progress and heal.
The 2nd and 3rd degree burns were on his left foot, lower left back, and the entire right hand, arm, and shoulder. His right arm and left foot are completely healed with only a barely perceivable difference in skin color. The lower left back has only a few thick scars that are very small. The skin will in time regenerate, and has already progressed quite far. It still has at least 6 months to go before it has built back up to a normal depth of skin. Right now, it is darker than his normal skin and still has "buds" on it which look like lots of little dark dots. In time, this will go away though as the skin heals.
The only real problem area that still remains is his right shoulder and upper right arm. It has developed a very thick hypertrophic scar over the entire area. The scar is still forming and has at least 6 months to go before it "matures" and stops developing. Basically, his body suffered great trauma and his healing senses kicked into overdrive and didn't know enough to stop. His body went overboard in healing itself. So, this causes two problems. The first is cosmetic and the second is the limitation of mobility in his shoulder.
His doctor in the burn center referred him to the UNC Burn Plastic Surgeon in January. The Burn Plastic Surgeon will continue to care for him, though there is currently no surgery available to correct such an issue in a still-growing child on the shoulder. So, basically, there's little that the doctors can do to help him. He currently is wearing a very tight "burn shirt" that squeezes him very tightly for the purpose of applying constant pressure to the scar tissue. He wears it during the day. Underneath the shirt he wears silicoln gel pads which have proven very helpful in scar reduction. I do massage therapy each morning and night where I press firmly on the scar and massage it to aid in breaking down the scar tissue. He goes back to UNC in two months at which time the surgery team may decide to start steroid therapy as well. Beyond that, there is nothing that can be done.
Mind you, I did not want my little guy to have to have surgery, but at the same time, I was hoping that there was something the surgeon could do for him. Still, when he said he could not help Lucas, I was discouraged only for a few moments. What this means is that God is our plan A and our only plan. I have been praying for the impossible for Lucas. I'm asking God to give him new skin instead of a scar. This is impossible. But it is what I feel God has asked me to pray for. In my human condition, I'm always thinking of the scientific and medical ways that this prayer could be answered. I found out at that last doctor visit that only God can do what I am asking. I would like to say that God has always been my Plan A on this, and at times, He has been. But in the back of my mind, surgery has been my Plan A. Now, there is only one plan and that is God. So, we continue to pray.
The little guy continues to absolutely astound everybody with his incredible little spirit that has not been broken by this. He came to me a few weeks ago and told me that he wanted to write a worship song about his burn. He began to sing as I wrote the lyrics as quickly as I could. It was such a beautiful song! It was all about how God made dead bones come to life and put new skin on them and how Jesus was dead and was then alive in just three days, so "when are You going to do that for me?". The main point of his song was such a child-like innocence in asking God, "When are you going to heal my burn?" followed with, "I love You and You love me- I know so!"
I am so awed by the faith of little ones. Lord, may my faith become like that of my children. They are so beautiful.
The 2nd and 3rd degree burns were on his left foot, lower left back, and the entire right hand, arm, and shoulder. His right arm and left foot are completely healed with only a barely perceivable difference in skin color. The lower left back has only a few thick scars that are very small. The skin will in time regenerate, and has already progressed quite far. It still has at least 6 months to go before it has built back up to a normal depth of skin. Right now, it is darker than his normal skin and still has "buds" on it which look like lots of little dark dots. In time, this will go away though as the skin heals.
The only real problem area that still remains is his right shoulder and upper right arm. It has developed a very thick hypertrophic scar over the entire area. The scar is still forming and has at least 6 months to go before it "matures" and stops developing. Basically, his body suffered great trauma and his healing senses kicked into overdrive and didn't know enough to stop. His body went overboard in healing itself. So, this causes two problems. The first is cosmetic and the second is the limitation of mobility in his shoulder.
His doctor in the burn center referred him to the UNC Burn Plastic Surgeon in January. The Burn Plastic Surgeon will continue to care for him, though there is currently no surgery available to correct such an issue in a still-growing child on the shoulder. So, basically, there's little that the doctors can do to help him. He currently is wearing a very tight "burn shirt" that squeezes him very tightly for the purpose of applying constant pressure to the scar tissue. He wears it during the day. Underneath the shirt he wears silicoln gel pads which have proven very helpful in scar reduction. I do massage therapy each morning and night where I press firmly on the scar and massage it to aid in breaking down the scar tissue. He goes back to UNC in two months at which time the surgery team may decide to start steroid therapy as well. Beyond that, there is nothing that can be done.
Mind you, I did not want my little guy to have to have surgery, but at the same time, I was hoping that there was something the surgeon could do for him. Still, when he said he could not help Lucas, I was discouraged only for a few moments. What this means is that God is our plan A and our only plan. I have been praying for the impossible for Lucas. I'm asking God to give him new skin instead of a scar. This is impossible. But it is what I feel God has asked me to pray for. In my human condition, I'm always thinking of the scientific and medical ways that this prayer could be answered. I found out at that last doctor visit that only God can do what I am asking. I would like to say that God has always been my Plan A on this, and at times, He has been. But in the back of my mind, surgery has been my Plan A. Now, there is only one plan and that is God. So, we continue to pray.
The little guy continues to absolutely astound everybody with his incredible little spirit that has not been broken by this. He came to me a few weeks ago and told me that he wanted to write a worship song about his burn. He began to sing as I wrote the lyrics as quickly as I could. It was such a beautiful song! It was all about how God made dead bones come to life and put new skin on them and how Jesus was dead and was then alive in just three days, so "when are You going to do that for me?". The main point of his song was such a child-like innocence in asking God, "When are you going to heal my burn?" followed with, "I love You and You love me- I know so!"
I am so awed by the faith of little ones. Lord, may my faith become like that of my children. They are so beautiful.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
10 Months Home
It has now been ten months since our family welcomed Yosef (age 10) and Mihret (age 7) home from Ethiopia. It's hard to believe that just one year ago at this time, we were entering into our 16th month of waiting since we accepted their referral with still no end in sight. When we were in the thick of our extremely difficult wait, we were very aware of God's presence with us. But looking back, I am absolutely astounded at how faithful God was to us during that dark time when my heart was feeling such anguish over my children. He so perfectly prepared us to be able to walk through that valley by His grace. He brought me to a place of knowing that even if my kids never did come home to me that He was still sovereign. Now, as I continue to live each day, I am so aware of His sovereignty. One of my dearest friends was diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer last week. Despite the intense grief I am facing right now, I am so comforted by God's sovereignty in this. That understanding of God is something that happened in my heart due to our difficult adoption. It's funny how we are able to find that place of truly trusting God when circumstances are so far beyond our control and we know that we cannot trust ourselves to change them.
With each update that I write, the process of becoming a bonded and attatched family is seeming more and more natural. Things really are very good. Increasingly, I am feeling like a "normal" (I really have no idea what that term even means!) woman trying to mother four "regular" children. What I mean is that the issues we face are seeming more like ordinary issues that all families face rather than adoption related issues.
Seven days a week, we have a conversation that goes like this:
MOM: "Yosef, you need to go take a shower now."
YOSEF: "Why do I have to take a shower EVERY day?!?!"
MOM: "Because if you don't you will smell stinky."
YOSEF: "But I don't want to! That's not fair! You don't make the other kids take a shower everyday. Why do I have to?!"
MOM: "Because you are 10 now and you're becoming a man and I don't like it when my kids are stinky, so go!"
And then Yosef goes and takes his shower. This happens every single day. It's become such a routine conversation that I think we have it just because it's part of our evening routine! I think that this is a "normal" issue and not an adoption issue!
Another example is this:
KAITLYN: "ME-HE-RET!!!"
MIHRET: "WHAT?!"
MOM: "Girls, talk nicely to each other."
KAITLYN: "Well, SHE'S bothering me!"
MIHRET: (In a shrill, manipulative, whining voice with arms crossed) "Kaitlyn's being mean to me, Mom!"
(Ten minutes later)
MIHRET: "Come on, Kaitlyn! Let's go play in our room!"
KAITLYN: "Okay! Let's play with our American Girl Dolls!"
MIHRET: "That would be fun! Let's go!"
All of my older, wiser friends assure me that their girls had these episodes at least 10 times everyday and still have these episodes with each other as adults. So, again, I think we're entering the realm of "normal" issues as opposed to always adoption related issues. What a relief!
We did put Yosef in a new class at school after Christmas break. This kid is like a brand-new child! He is doing so well in school now! He's reading at a 2nd grade reading level with pretty good comprehension. And he is so very proud of himself for this accomplishment! He's getting all A's on his spelling tests. He's getting A's and B's on his classwork. I have not seen many tests so far, but I am hopeful that he is doing well on them too. I am so thankful that we moved him to this class.
Since I teach at the same school where the kids attend, I try to respect them and not embarass them. Lucas and Mihret LOVE it when they pass me in the hallway and always want me to stop and give them a hug and kiss. Kaitlyn's need for attention at school varies with the day. Yosef, being the oldest, is really just so mortified that I might possibly embarass him. So, I usually just say hi or smile at him when I see him at school. He totally made my day the other day though when his class passed by me and he stepped out of line to give me a hug. I thought something was wrong! But he just wanted to hug me. It's the little moments like those that make me see just how far we've come. This is the same child who was going days at a time without speaking to me just a few months ago. Now, Yosef gets upset if I forget to hug him when we get home from school. Just a few months ago, his entire body would stiffen up if he even thought that I might try to touch him in any way. A hug was just torture for him. Just a few months ago, we were using TV as a means of rewarding him for being civil toward me, even if it was insincere. Now, I have to make him go play outside sometimes because I need him to get out from under my feet! God is the One who has guided us through this tricky process of attatchment between perfect strangers! He has given us such creative ideas that have worked so well for each child according to their unique little personalities.
Are we finished with attatchment? Have we figured out this parenting thing? Of course not! There's still lots of work to do. Right now, I really need God to give me a way to get Mihret to stop whining. I need to figure out how to keep Kaitlyn from getting lice....again. I wish I could get Lucas to be responsible enough to not keep a rotten banana in the bottom of his backpack until it gets smashed all over everything. And I wish I could make Yosef understand what a common noun is. Two months from now, it will be something different. But for now, I am confident that God will continue to guide us on this amazing journey called "Life" as He always has.
To those who have just recently brought home their older adopted children, hang on! Be consistent. Be listening to God's creative strategies. And take heart- those first few months don't last forever!
With each update that I write, the process of becoming a bonded and attatched family is seeming more and more natural. Things really are very good. Increasingly, I am feeling like a "normal" (I really have no idea what that term even means!) woman trying to mother four "regular" children. What I mean is that the issues we face are seeming more like ordinary issues that all families face rather than adoption related issues.
Seven days a week, we have a conversation that goes like this:
MOM: "Yosef, you need to go take a shower now."
YOSEF: "Why do I have to take a shower EVERY day?!?!"
MOM: "Because if you don't you will smell stinky."
YOSEF: "But I don't want to! That's not fair! You don't make the other kids take a shower everyday. Why do I have to?!"
MOM: "Because you are 10 now and you're becoming a man and I don't like it when my kids are stinky, so go!"
And then Yosef goes and takes his shower. This happens every single day. It's become such a routine conversation that I think we have it just because it's part of our evening routine! I think that this is a "normal" issue and not an adoption issue!
Another example is this:
KAITLYN: "ME-HE-RET!!!"
MIHRET: "WHAT?!"
MOM: "Girls, talk nicely to each other."
KAITLYN: "Well, SHE'S bothering me!"
MIHRET: (In a shrill, manipulative, whining voice with arms crossed) "Kaitlyn's being mean to me, Mom!"
(Ten minutes later)
MIHRET: "Come on, Kaitlyn! Let's go play in our room!"
KAITLYN: "Okay! Let's play with our American Girl Dolls!"
MIHRET: "That would be fun! Let's go!"
All of my older, wiser friends assure me that their girls had these episodes at least 10 times everyday and still have these episodes with each other as adults. So, again, I think we're entering the realm of "normal" issues as opposed to always adoption related issues. What a relief!
We did put Yosef in a new class at school after Christmas break. This kid is like a brand-new child! He is doing so well in school now! He's reading at a 2nd grade reading level with pretty good comprehension. And he is so very proud of himself for this accomplishment! He's getting all A's on his spelling tests. He's getting A's and B's on his classwork. I have not seen many tests so far, but I am hopeful that he is doing well on them too. I am so thankful that we moved him to this class.
Since I teach at the same school where the kids attend, I try to respect them and not embarass them. Lucas and Mihret LOVE it when they pass me in the hallway and always want me to stop and give them a hug and kiss. Kaitlyn's need for attention at school varies with the day. Yosef, being the oldest, is really just so mortified that I might possibly embarass him. So, I usually just say hi or smile at him when I see him at school. He totally made my day the other day though when his class passed by me and he stepped out of line to give me a hug. I thought something was wrong! But he just wanted to hug me. It's the little moments like those that make me see just how far we've come. This is the same child who was going days at a time without speaking to me just a few months ago. Now, Yosef gets upset if I forget to hug him when we get home from school. Just a few months ago, his entire body would stiffen up if he even thought that I might try to touch him in any way. A hug was just torture for him. Just a few months ago, we were using TV as a means of rewarding him for being civil toward me, even if it was insincere. Now, I have to make him go play outside sometimes because I need him to get out from under my feet! God is the One who has guided us through this tricky process of attatchment between perfect strangers! He has given us such creative ideas that have worked so well for each child according to their unique little personalities.
Are we finished with attatchment? Have we figured out this parenting thing? Of course not! There's still lots of work to do. Right now, I really need God to give me a way to get Mihret to stop whining. I need to figure out how to keep Kaitlyn from getting lice....again. I wish I could get Lucas to be responsible enough to not keep a rotten banana in the bottom of his backpack until it gets smashed all over everything. And I wish I could make Yosef understand what a common noun is. Two months from now, it will be something different. But for now, I am confident that God will continue to guide us on this amazing journey called "Life" as He always has.
To those who have just recently brought home their older adopted children, hang on! Be consistent. Be listening to God's creative strategies. And take heart- those first few months don't last forever!
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
9 Months Home
I can hardly believe that it has been 9 months since Yosef and Mihret came home to our family from Ethiopia. We just celebrated our first Christmas together. It's also been exactly 1 year since I first met them when I visited them in the orphanage last Christmas. What a year!
I can truthfully say that things are very good now. We struggled quite a bit at first, especially with Yosef. But things are getting better and better all the time. There are still a few days here and there when he's quite difficult. But overall, we're on a steady uphill climb with him, which is good. God has been most faithful to show us how to handle each thing as it comes our way.
People ask me all the time if our four kids fight. Of course they do! I think we'd be quite abnormal if they didn't! And when they're not fighting, they're the best of friends. What more could a mother ask for? :)
Yosef: Yosef is in grade 4 and is 10 (maybe?!?!) years old. He's struggled quite a bit with school. Part of that is due to language and adjustment. But part of it is because he doesn't like to study. We haven't pressured him too much about his grades because we do know that it will take lots of time academically. But, once we go back to school after our Christmas break, we will start making him spend time just studying his work. He is smart and capable, but he will have to work very hard.
We're going to change him to a different 4th grade class as well. One thing that has been difficult about school is that we're in a very low income school. Honestly, I believe it to be the best in our area as far as the quality of instruction that takes place. That is why I applied for a job there. But there's such a spirit of poverty over this place and along with that also comes a very devalued emphasis on education. There is a very disrespectful attitude amongst most of the students at the school that is simply carried over from their home lives. When I see the interactions between students and their families it is no wonder to me that they act the way they do at school. My Yosef has begun to adopt just such an attitude as well. He didn't make very wise choices for friends. His classmates were totally intrigued with him and his accent. The most problematic students chose him as their friend and being new, he went along. He never actually gets in trouble at school and is one of the best behaved in his class. But I see a rebellious spirit taking root in his little heart that is going to spell big trouble in a few years if we don't get it under control now. When we talked with him about the influence his friends were having over him, it was actually his idea to change classes so that he could choose good friends. Please pray for him in this transition.
We have been extremely consistent in not allowing him to treat us disrespectfully. Our consistency is definitely paying off. When he is disrespectful, he is much easier to correct and much faster to respond to our correction than at first. This morning he shot me an ugly look where he furrowed up his eyebrows at me like I was an idiot for telling him no. Avery took him upstairs, told him he couldn't come down until he apologized nicely to me. It only took him about 10 minutes before he humbly came to me and whispered an apology in my ear and gave me a sincere hug. He really is a good kid. He has just had no discipline in his tumultuous little life. We only have these little episodes just a few times a week now.
Since I've never had a 10 year old boy before, I think that maybe these issues aren't entirely adoption related. My friends with kids this age keep telling me that they have the same issues. Who knows? I'm figuring this mother thing out one day at a time!
Kaitlyn: Kaitlyn is 7 and in 2nd grade. She gets totally fed up with having a sister and says mean things to her. Then 10 minutes later, she's so in love with her little sister that nothing could separate them. I think that's normal???? She's making all A's at school and is well- liked. I worried about her at first, as she is one of just a few white kids at the school. But I honestly don't think she's really noticed this. She knows that most everybody is black and Hispanic. But she's still at an innocent age where the kids all play together. She has black and hispanic friends. The innocence of these children is priceless. I pray that she doesn't lose this over the next couple of years. I've noticed that Yosef's 4th grade class is very much divided along the lines of race. But in 2nd grade, they're still so uncorrupted.
Having been our oldest before the adoption, Kaitlyn is now 2nd in line following Yosef. For some kids, losing their place as oldest is a huge problem. But this has not really been a problem for Kaitlyn. Perhaps it will be later. But not so far. I've talked with her about this issue a few times and she honestly seems okay.
Mihret: Mihret is at the absolute top of her 1st grade class. She turns 7 in a few weeks (or maybe 8????). The funny thing about international adoption is that it's hard to really be sure of an age sometimes. That's the case with our kids. Mihret is making all A's and is so proud of herself. She is very much attached to our family, and has been from the start. She's very good and very easy to correct. She's just very good and very sweet. She positively lights up a room with her eyes and her giggle. I've gotten quite good at braiding her hair too. All I can tell mothers is to practice. The only way to get good is to just do it, even if it takes a long time at first. Once you get it, it's so worth it.
Lucas: Lucas turns 6 years old today! My baby!!!! He's making all A's in Kindergarten, operating on a 1st grade level. He's so good at school and his teachers are completely in love with him. He's still the baby of the family. It's a good thing he has a big brother who takes such good care of him. Yosef really is so good to Lucas. It's very sweet to walk into a room and discover them playing with their arms around each other.
Lucas' burns are continuing to heal. I have to take him to a plastic surgeon in a few weeks for consultation on his shoulder. The scar is becoming quite thick and limiting his mobility in his shoulder. It will continue to heal for at least 6 more months, so seeing the plastic surgeon is merely so that he can monitor the progress and be familiar with the case while he heals. We are praying that God will heal the scar in such a way that no surgery will be required. Honestly, I am praying for the impossible. I am asking God to give Lucas new skin in place of his scar. I am completely convinced that this is how God wants me to pray. I'm not convinced yet that this is what God will do, but I am praying as I believe I ought to. I'm also fasting by drinking nothing but water. I feel that God has asked me to continue this fast until Lucas is healed, or until I sense God releasing me from this commitment. All I can do is obey what I feel God is requiring of me. Lucas has been so incredibly brave throughout this entire thing. He hasn't lost one bit of his charm either.
Me: Let's just say that the lack of posts on my blog is a direct result of being a working mother of four children. Teaching is so very difficult anyway. This is a school where there are very real inner-city problems. This entire area where we live is laden with the problems of gangs and drugs and race plays a main factor in all of this. I very much want God to move us to a new place. Mind you, I would be sad beyond words to leave some of the very dear friends He has given me. But I really want God to move us for the sake of our children. I do not pretend for even a moment to know what is best for our family in this situation. But this is my desire. Honestly, my desire is for God to move us to Africa on the mission field. But this is not something we're currently pursuing. Just praying. I think we're going to put our house on the market again in the spring to see if we can sell it. We tried with no success for over 2 years to sell it. If it sells, we'll see where God takes us after that. Until then, I am content to trust God's plan for us here.
I am basically very tired by the time the kids go to bed at night. I usually spend some time with Avery, then go to bed by 8:00PM. I feel like a little kid! I am up by 4:45 AM though and I am one of those people who absolutely needs adequate sleep to function well. The thing I like most about my job is that I get to be at the school with my kids. I am seriously so very thankful for this. Though I'm tired at the end of the day, I'm so glad that they're right there waiting for me with a hug and a kiss. I love them so very much. I love them more each day. God has blessed me beyond comprehension with this little family. I get so much joy from having the chance to mother them. God has been very good to me.
So, in a nutshell, things are good. 6 months ago, it was hard for me to believe that things would settle down the way they have. Especially with Yosef. But now, our family feels very normal....I think I might be the only person who knows us who would describe us as normal! :)
I'm currently on day 1 of a yucky sick, cold, congested, fever, weakness, muscle fatigue, diarrhea kind of illness. Perhaps I'll post pictures before I return to school following our winter break. I hope!
I can truthfully say that things are very good now. We struggled quite a bit at first, especially with Yosef. But things are getting better and better all the time. There are still a few days here and there when he's quite difficult. But overall, we're on a steady uphill climb with him, which is good. God has been most faithful to show us how to handle each thing as it comes our way.
People ask me all the time if our four kids fight. Of course they do! I think we'd be quite abnormal if they didn't! And when they're not fighting, they're the best of friends. What more could a mother ask for? :)
Yosef: Yosef is in grade 4 and is 10 (maybe?!?!) years old. He's struggled quite a bit with school. Part of that is due to language and adjustment. But part of it is because he doesn't like to study. We haven't pressured him too much about his grades because we do know that it will take lots of time academically. But, once we go back to school after our Christmas break, we will start making him spend time just studying his work. He is smart and capable, but he will have to work very hard.
We're going to change him to a different 4th grade class as well. One thing that has been difficult about school is that we're in a very low income school. Honestly, I believe it to be the best in our area as far as the quality of instruction that takes place. That is why I applied for a job there. But there's such a spirit of poverty over this place and along with that also comes a very devalued emphasis on education. There is a very disrespectful attitude amongst most of the students at the school that is simply carried over from their home lives. When I see the interactions between students and their families it is no wonder to me that they act the way they do at school. My Yosef has begun to adopt just such an attitude as well. He didn't make very wise choices for friends. His classmates were totally intrigued with him and his accent. The most problematic students chose him as their friend and being new, he went along. He never actually gets in trouble at school and is one of the best behaved in his class. But I see a rebellious spirit taking root in his little heart that is going to spell big trouble in a few years if we don't get it under control now. When we talked with him about the influence his friends were having over him, it was actually his idea to change classes so that he could choose good friends. Please pray for him in this transition.
We have been extremely consistent in not allowing him to treat us disrespectfully. Our consistency is definitely paying off. When he is disrespectful, he is much easier to correct and much faster to respond to our correction than at first. This morning he shot me an ugly look where he furrowed up his eyebrows at me like I was an idiot for telling him no. Avery took him upstairs, told him he couldn't come down until he apologized nicely to me. It only took him about 10 minutes before he humbly came to me and whispered an apology in my ear and gave me a sincere hug. He really is a good kid. He has just had no discipline in his tumultuous little life. We only have these little episodes just a few times a week now.
Since I've never had a 10 year old boy before, I think that maybe these issues aren't entirely adoption related. My friends with kids this age keep telling me that they have the same issues. Who knows? I'm figuring this mother thing out one day at a time!
Kaitlyn: Kaitlyn is 7 and in 2nd grade. She gets totally fed up with having a sister and says mean things to her. Then 10 minutes later, she's so in love with her little sister that nothing could separate them. I think that's normal???? She's making all A's at school and is well- liked. I worried about her at first, as she is one of just a few white kids at the school. But I honestly don't think she's really noticed this. She knows that most everybody is black and Hispanic. But she's still at an innocent age where the kids all play together. She has black and hispanic friends. The innocence of these children is priceless. I pray that she doesn't lose this over the next couple of years. I've noticed that Yosef's 4th grade class is very much divided along the lines of race. But in 2nd grade, they're still so uncorrupted.
Having been our oldest before the adoption, Kaitlyn is now 2nd in line following Yosef. For some kids, losing their place as oldest is a huge problem. But this has not really been a problem for Kaitlyn. Perhaps it will be later. But not so far. I've talked with her about this issue a few times and she honestly seems okay.
Mihret: Mihret is at the absolute top of her 1st grade class. She turns 7 in a few weeks (or maybe 8????). The funny thing about international adoption is that it's hard to really be sure of an age sometimes. That's the case with our kids. Mihret is making all A's and is so proud of herself. She is very much attached to our family, and has been from the start. She's very good and very easy to correct. She's just very good and very sweet. She positively lights up a room with her eyes and her giggle. I've gotten quite good at braiding her hair too. All I can tell mothers is to practice. The only way to get good is to just do it, even if it takes a long time at first. Once you get it, it's so worth it.
Lucas: Lucas turns 6 years old today! My baby!!!! He's making all A's in Kindergarten, operating on a 1st grade level. He's so good at school and his teachers are completely in love with him. He's still the baby of the family. It's a good thing he has a big brother who takes such good care of him. Yosef really is so good to Lucas. It's very sweet to walk into a room and discover them playing with their arms around each other.
Lucas' burns are continuing to heal. I have to take him to a plastic surgeon in a few weeks for consultation on his shoulder. The scar is becoming quite thick and limiting his mobility in his shoulder. It will continue to heal for at least 6 more months, so seeing the plastic surgeon is merely so that he can monitor the progress and be familiar with the case while he heals. We are praying that God will heal the scar in such a way that no surgery will be required. Honestly, I am praying for the impossible. I am asking God to give Lucas new skin in place of his scar. I am completely convinced that this is how God wants me to pray. I'm not convinced yet that this is what God will do, but I am praying as I believe I ought to. I'm also fasting by drinking nothing but water. I feel that God has asked me to continue this fast until Lucas is healed, or until I sense God releasing me from this commitment. All I can do is obey what I feel God is requiring of me. Lucas has been so incredibly brave throughout this entire thing. He hasn't lost one bit of his charm either.
Me: Let's just say that the lack of posts on my blog is a direct result of being a working mother of four children. Teaching is so very difficult anyway. This is a school where there are very real inner-city problems. This entire area where we live is laden with the problems of gangs and drugs and race plays a main factor in all of this. I very much want God to move us to a new place. Mind you, I would be sad beyond words to leave some of the very dear friends He has given me. But I really want God to move us for the sake of our children. I do not pretend for even a moment to know what is best for our family in this situation. But this is my desire. Honestly, my desire is for God to move us to Africa on the mission field. But this is not something we're currently pursuing. Just praying. I think we're going to put our house on the market again in the spring to see if we can sell it. We tried with no success for over 2 years to sell it. If it sells, we'll see where God takes us after that. Until then, I am content to trust God's plan for us here.
I am basically very tired by the time the kids go to bed at night. I usually spend some time with Avery, then go to bed by 8:00PM. I feel like a little kid! I am up by 4:45 AM though and I am one of those people who absolutely needs adequate sleep to function well. The thing I like most about my job is that I get to be at the school with my kids. I am seriously so very thankful for this. Though I'm tired at the end of the day, I'm so glad that they're right there waiting for me with a hug and a kiss. I love them so very much. I love them more each day. God has blessed me beyond comprehension with this little family. I get so much joy from having the chance to mother them. God has been very good to me.
So, in a nutshell, things are good. 6 months ago, it was hard for me to believe that things would settle down the way they have. Especially with Yosef. But now, our family feels very normal....I think I might be the only person who knows us who would describe us as normal! :)
I'm currently on day 1 of a yucky sick, cold, congested, fever, weakness, muscle fatigue, diarrhea kind of illness. Perhaps I'll post pictures before I return to school following our winter break. I hope!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
